spoken-not-written:

SINCE MY GRANDMA WORKS IN A CLINIC SUPPORTING PEOPLE WITH AIDS/HIV I ASKED HER TO GET ME SOME CONDOMS JUST CAUSE I DON’T HAVE ANY AND SHE FUCKING COMES BACK WITH A WHOLE BOX

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thanks grandma

(via randomphasesoflife)

illiteratedad:

being romantically frustrated is 1000000 worse than being sexually frustrated because you can get yourself off but you can’t spoon with yourself and kiss your own forehead

(via thewalkingbioshock)

me: halloween is coming soon
mom: it's july
me:
me: halloween is coming soon

meatbicyclevevo:

thetowndrugdealer:

precumming:

I JUST PUT MY SHIRT ON AND THERE WAS A SPIDER IN IT!!!!!!!!

or did you just put a shirt on that a spider was already wearing?

thats so rude

(via thewalkingbioshock)

alexernst:

bangs8:

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE I AM

lol chill bro its just bowling

(Source: nosdrinker, via thewalkingbioshock)

WiFi: connected
Me: then fucking act like it

mrcrockers:

mrcrockers:

hue jackman

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i showed this to my sister and she slapped me

(Source: eknaj, via thewalkingbioshock)

like
like
like

alen-alen:

If Steve Smith were to release an album, I would buy it, not one song would be illegally downloaded. 

(via thewalkingbioshock)

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